


Take Me Back

by stainhermouthred



Series: Second Chances [4]
Category: Marvel, Marvel 616, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:59:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stainhermouthred/pseuds/stainhermouthred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was dead and the world has stopped turning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me Back

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write angst.

First thing he noticed was silence. The only thing he heard was pounding of his own heart and broken sobs that were escaping his mouth but that’s it. There were about twenty people in the room who just stood there probably watching him and making no noise. They stopped doing whatever they had to. They were just watching.

It felt like the world stopped.

He couldn’t move. His hand was stroking his wife’s cheek and hair, and his eyes stung from the tears that he couldn’t stop. Bobbi was dead.

His fingers were stained with her blood flowing lazily from the hole in her temple. Perfectly round bullet hole. She was shot on a mission when she was getting out. It was so close and yet they managed to get her. Kill her.

She wasn’t waking up.

He was shaking and his throat was burning, his heart was trying to escape from his chest and the only thing he could do was to clutch at Bobbi’s lifeless body and chant quietly under his breath things that he didn’t tell her…

“I Love you”

“Please don’t go”

“I love you”

She couldn’t hear and it would be enough to break him. Probably. But there was more. The last time he saw her he was mad at her. And he shouldn’t. She would go out on a longer mission and he hasn’t said anything to make her want to come back to him at all. He hasn’t told her he loved her.

He was spreading blood on her hair even more with the movement of his hand and he felt like the flames were eating him up from the inside. Touching her lips with his fingers just because he wanted to feel them again, staining her mouth red with her own blood, finally he broke down.

His quiet sobs turned into whimpers, his shaking turned violent and all he could hear was his own heartbeat, a painful reminder that out of two of them he was the one living. 

He hadn't left her side till the funeral. He hasn't said a word to anyone , hasn't cried. Just stayed. The day of her funeral was bright and sunny just the kind she loved. The irony was hurting even more because the day so alive wa the one to accept her death.

There was a beautiful speech from Captain America,  people were sad and he was asked to give the speech. He came up at the podium without a plan looking at the coffin where his wife was lying. He wanted to sqy something short, wasn't planning on long speech considering that he was broken. 

But standing at the podium and looking at  faces of their friends who didn't know half  the pain he and Bobbi had to go through to get over their issues. So he stood there his chest burning and tried to come up with something but the only thing he could think of was that Bobbi could do that so much better than he could. He closed his eyes and tried to regain some control of himself but couldn't. The coffin was right in front of him. 

He felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. Natasha. Telling him she would take ver. That it was okay.

It wasn't but he got down anyway.

"Bobbj Morse was my friend. She was an Avenger. SHIELD agent. Sister. Daughter. Wife. We lost someone today who not only dedicated her life to helping people. She also went to hell and back to stay loyal and good. She loved with all her heart even if sometimes love could break hers. And she could make sacrifaces that many of us wouldn't dare to do. She was a hero. We lost an amazing person.  A friend. And our friend has lost his wife. And nothing can make it less painful but here we are if only to say goodbye to Bobbi"

Natasha ended her speech and left the podium quietly. Clint could feel new tears on his face and when she stood in fron of him again he hugged her tightly muttering "thank you" into her hair.

She was right. They got to say goodbye and comfort of a hug was neccessary but the burning in his chest hadn't stopped and he could feel her sobbing into his chest. Nothing could reduce the pain.

After the funeral she took her to his own apartment and pulled out a bottle of whisky. Tears stilll staining her face she poured into the glasses and handed him one. Normally they would talk and laughed by now. Normally Bobbi would emerge from the room to joim them.

For the first our they hadn't talked each drowning in their own sorrow the only comfort from their shouldrs touching where  they sat on the couch.

Finally she couldn't take it and with a voice  hoarse from sobbing she whispered: "I miss her so much"

Clint looked at her and took her hand squeezing. Trying to be comforting. She smiled sadly "I am so sorry, I'm so sorry Clint." she hugged him and he was stiff for a second. These were wrong arms. Wheb he finally hugged her back all he could say was: "I loved her Nat. I still love her and she's gone"

"I know"

 

"I don't know how to start living again"

 

She wanted to tell him he will. That it would get better but he was broken and she felt like the world fall apart because it was Bobbi she never died for good and it was too final... just wrong. So the only thing she could say was

 

"I know"

Days were long and nights were even worse. His bed was too cold and too empty and he slept on the couch. More often than not withNat sleeping in the armchair next to him. They spoke out of necessity Once Barnes came over to drop Nat some stuff. They spoke quietly for a few minutes and then he hugged her tightly both giving and taking comfort in this. Bobbi was his partner lately and he blamed himself.  To all the hurt he felt Clint added sting of guilt because Nat was with him instead of Barnes and all of them were hurting. But then Bucky left and Natasha said that James cqb handle it for now. That was their last conversation that day.

He started making effort then. To at least try to function like a human being. He still couldn't speak and getting up in the mornings seemed like too much effort sometimes but the burning in his chest became a reminder that she used to there and if the pain took his breath away more often than not well... so did she.

One day he was the one to make Nat breakfast and kissed her cheek.

He told her he could handle himself. That she could go home.

She smiled with hopeful expression on her face.

He wasn't okay. Not even nearly but he was on a good way to start healing and that was more than he could ask for. he found picture of bobbi after Nat left and his heart stopped beating for a second but eventually he would be okay.e 


End file.
